Stomach virus confessions– Coming Alive in Disappointment

Oh friends–
Have you experienced IT?  The stomach (by the way that is a crazy word to try to spell.. I don’t know .  I just feel you should know. If it were not for spell check I would spell that and the word restaurant differently EVERY time) virus from down under.  The one that cycles.  That you get, give to your family, and then like a bad plague it circles back TO YOU like revenge.

Lol.. I was going to google a stomach virus image but they all just made me want to double over.. so forget that….

So was my life this weekend.  and it was the worst time ever to experience it.
For me, it was almost like it happened on my wedding day.

This weekend was coming alive ministries Bloom conference.  The one we pray for, plan for, have dreamed about for six months.  SIX months of believing God to move, preparing all the details, and praying for a WORD.

And I had one.  Four sessions full actually.  I don’t think I had ever felt so excited or prepared for a conference, for messages.

Friday came and I was hoping the pain in my stomach was from excitement.
I came to the Bloom conference full of excitement for what God had.

And I loved it. I loved our incredible worship team.

  I loved the beautiful touches that my wonderful conference director Shawna put into the decorations

.  I loved the way the hospitality team set it up in such a way that everyone felt loved, special and an incredible taste experience with COFFEE and desserts that were heavenly ( and I didn’t even want to eat one thanks Mr. Stomach virus waiting to rear ugly head).  I loved our welcome team. I loved our balloons.  I loved loved our prayer team.  I loved our prayer room, the stations set up for the woman to encounter Jesus

.  I loved the beautiful Bloom centerpiece the Amazing Debbie Sapp had made for the prayer room.

I loved the people that came.  I LOVED it all.. except for one thing.  I did not love IT.  It– the stomach virus.  And what IT represented.

Friday night by the time I got home I felt like death. I tried to pretend I was ok.  But by Saturday morning the stomach flu had made me so weak I could not really walk or sit up.  I had to lay on the floor and talk to the conference director who had spent the night.  I was laying down on the floor and I said I can’t go.  I can’t be there.  I can’t do this.

I was to weak. I hate to be weak. Not only weak but so disappointed I cried and cried.
It was like not being at my own wedding day.  
Like cooking and preparing for a banquet and not being there to taste.

You know who was there.  God.  He was in the middle of my disappointment.  He was in the middle of this conference.  This was not plan B for Him.  It was plan A.

The conference went on Saturday.  Three lovely amazing ladies took the ball and bravely spoke.  My sister, my mom, and Shawna– (the before mentioned conference director). I stayed home and wondered WHY God.  I have to admit I was disappointed, defeated, and frustrated.

And God taught me . He whispered, shouted, and spoke to me that sweet reminder.  He does not NEED me.  He wants me.

Is that freeing to you to?
He does not need you to be in control of the details– He’s already written the story and figured out each one, and it’s a part of HIS glory story.
He does not need you to accomplish His purposes, He just wants you to enjoy experiencing His purpose with him.

The truth is– (I imagine for you to) everything in me wanted to be needed, to be in control, for God to NEED me to do this thing.
But God used my hanging out on the porcelain throne to show me He is on His throne and in control.

Coming alive is not about me– it’s about him.

So maybe I can save you the joy of learning this lesson without you having to get a stomach virus.

God is in control of every detail.

(feel free to pin that or tweet, or share) 

God is in control of all your details.  All your dreams.  All your situations.
And even when it feels messy, confusing and stinks at times– , press in.. because the end of our story.

Happily ever after.

So just press in bravely in the in between.
Even when you have the stomach virus (again)

Ps:  my sweet amazing God sized dreaming friend is giving away an awesome necklace on her blog and helping send another sweet God sized dreaming friend on a mission to love on some orphans that she has helped sponsor.  Would you click here to find out more and get involved.