nightmare day.. i must proclaim the truth of God

Coming Alive
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Today was a nightmare. One I never want to re-live.  I wish I had all the right Christian words to say right now.  All I know in a day that we took the greatest emotional rollorcoaster rides of our life,  all I know is I am so glad I had treasured God’s word in my heart, that I had hidden inside of me.  Right now I don’t have the strength to be the good christian girl with the right words to say.  When the docs bring you in to tell you your dad has acute leukemia.. and you try to hold eachother… i can’t say God is working this all together for his glory.. all i can say is Jesus. I crawl into your lap and believe that all that I have hidden in my heart from your word is true and it will hold me.

Later when a surgury the doc said would be 10 minutes and an hour later they come into the waiting room and tell you, your twin sis and your mom that your dad had seizure on the table, a stroke, was on a vent and wouldn’t make it…. (later they said it probablly wasn’t a stroke and they were able to get dad off ventilator)  and I tried to hold my mom and sis all i knew to do was whisper the most powerful name in the world

Jesus.
We kept whispering that over my mom.
I couldn’t speak, couldn’t pray.. but I have God’s word hidden in my heart.

In Romans 8 it promises me that the Holy spirit intercedes for me when I can’t .
God’s word promises me that there is power in the name of Jesus, so I knew all I could do was say it.

Psalms 91 I am your shelter
Psalms 41 I am your refuge
I will never leave you
/Isaiah 43 i have called you by name you are mine

I needed to proclaim that tonight.  God’s word that is hidden in my heart from years of reading His love letters to me.. it’s true.

What i wrote last night about God being in the details is true.
Who God says He is is true.

Who God is in the darkness is the same as He was in the light.

I am asking God to wrap me, my mom, my sis, and my dad so tightly in His promises tonight
Resting in the shadow of His wings

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3 Comments

  1. Jenn, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep holding on to Jesus my friend. So sorry about everything y'all are going through.

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  2. Oh Jenn. You do not need the right " Christian" words at this time . Times like this is when we have to just lean on him and let everyone else give us those words. He knows your heart. Your rock solid. And you know his promises through all of this. I see prayers being answered already ! He was taken off the vent!! Praise the Lord ! It may not have been a stroke ! Thank you Jesus. During that time you had sooo many people praying for a miracle !!! He was there !! He is answering every moment even when you cant see it. Just " BE STILL AND KNOW I AM GOD" . .

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