Ever had things turn out not the way you expected?
If I were a betting woman I would bet that everyone reading this has.. many time.. had things turn out not the way expected.
When I answered the call to go to Nepal I expected to be there the rest of my life.. I committed to be a CAREER missionary. I left everything behind and went.. fully… expecting.. that.. to.. be… my.. place.. my calling.. my forever home till heaven.
I was going to be the best missionary I knew how to be
And I loved it.. i truly did
But what;s a girl to do when God begins whispering to her heart.. I have more for you. This is not the only place I want you to be. I have more in my plan for you. Will you be willing to let go of your expectations and take my hand and follow me into my incredible plans?
But what will the think of me God? What will those who I promised I was going to be the best missionary ever think? Will they think I am a failure? Am I a failure God?: Am I just to wimpy of a christian? Are my motives pure? This is not what i expected God
And God gently whispers to my expectations Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in my Jenn.. with ALL your heart.. even your expectations.. and I will direct your path.
Psalms 37:5-6 Commit your way to the Lord Jenn and HE will act.
So I went against all my expectations and followed the Lord.. and It has been an incredible wonderful exciting and terrifying at times journey! one that has exceeding my every expectation.
Three years ago I was asked to pray about leading a particular ladies retreat that would occur in October 2012. It was 2010 then. It seemed like such a loooonggg time away. But i was so excited and so honored and so humbled to be asked to take on such a huge ministry role and opportunity. So I began praying and planning. I even bought a prayer journal and began that day I said yes to write out prayers for those ladies, that weekend, that experience, what God was going to do. I prayed and I journaled for the next two years.
I had my expectations.
Then last year that door of ministry was painfully shut.
It was a very deep and painful rejection for me.
Not one I understood at all. Not one I expected. IT took me completely by surprise.
BUT GOD. Even though I still don’t necessarily understand.. BUT GOD took that and did mighty works in my heart.
He taught me about my idol of people’s approval. He asked me if i would stare my biggest fear in the face… rejection– and trust Him in the midst of it.
I didn’t expect this.
I didn’t expect to cry myself to sleep many nights last year thinking why am I not enough.
But if I had not experienced that, I would not have experienced the other unexpected thing– the GIFTS God gave me. See He came to me in those moments and said you don’t have to be enough– I AM.
My ways are higher then your ways HE said.
I know what I am doing – HE said.
Now a year later, it is the week I had prayed for 3 years for. And I will not be there. But GOD will.. and I am soo excited about that.
I have no regrets because God is going to something more then I could have asked or imagined.
HE promises that.
Remember a few weeks ago when I wrote about Ephesians 3:20.. He is able to do more exceedingly abundantly more then i could ask or think according to his power within me!!
I have had such an excitement and peace this week in my spirit (haa as opposed to my normal not excited self.. haha.. let’s be honest I pretty much am always excited) because I am confident in this
Even though things did not turn out the way I expected..
God is doing a work I would not believe if told.
Would you pray with me for those ladies that I have prayed for three years for. I cannot wait to hear what God does!
How has things turned out not the way you expected for you? And how have you seen God exceed your expectations
Our God is sovereign, He is great and He IS good!!
I love this Jenn…. it so speaks to my heart. I also struggled with feeling like a failure when my time on the foreign mission feild didn't go the way I had planned… as though I had let everyone down. "The idol of people's approval" … wow… yep, I needed to hear that. Thank you for sharing… that HE wants to be strong in our weakness … that HE is enough when we fall short … amen and amen. I love to watch His plans unfold. May you have a wonderful day.
Jenn,
I'm thankful God called you back here for my sake and so many others, I am so encouraged by your posted! Love you!