worship over late night green tea

It’s been along time since God suprised me like this. Suprise me with a moment of unexpected worship.. where He came down, sat with me, and loved my heart to overflowing. Let me set the scene for you. Lately I’ve been trying to figure things out. Do you ever make that mistake? Do you ever try to figure out what God has up his sleeve next for you…. it’s easy to get so busy trying to figure that out that you get bogged down in that.. I’ve made that mistake lately. God has placed some strong desires for ministry on my heart lately– but the problem is instead of trusting him with it, I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly it will look like. What will the timing be? How will He provide? What will people say. When.. how.. what.. are you sure.. can you really lord.. all these thoughts have been going around my brain as I make the silly mistake of getting consumed in trying to figure out what the God of the universe has up His sleeve. It’s not that I don’t trust God really, but I forgot that what I really need to do is worship. So anyways– that’s the beginning of the scene set.. so it was 10:30.. I told my roomate goodnight, I was fully planning on going to sleep. But for some reason I could not. I felt this excitement stirring in my soul that I could not explain. I kept trying.. until 11:45 then I heard the Lord speak to my heart and say fix you a cup of green tea (to late for coffee) and come sit at the kitchen table with me. Not wanting to argue with the Lord I to the table I went.. not expecting much really.. but I got my pen and paper and started writing.

What started out as deep prayer time for a friend ended as the lord leading me to worship him. I started writing a prayer and I need to share with you the prayer of thanksgiving that came. These weren’t my words they were the lord speaking to my heart, gently reminding me of what He has done. This may be long but I feel God wanted me to write it.. that maybe he will use it to spur your heart to worshiph also.. it’s raw and real.. and well.. worship!

God you have always been there, more then faithful… even in the hard times, the desert times, you have provided your presence. Oh God that you have taken notice of me, that you have personally arranged all the details of my life, that you touch my heart, that you have romanced me in more ways then I could ever express, that you have been my sustainer, my joy giver, that you have given me your presence, that you speak to me through your wrod, that you have been my healer, my provider, my best friend, the one who held me when my heart physically ached for home, my safety, the shield about me, the glory and lifter of my head, my promise maker and promise keeper… my prince of peace, my restorer, the one who calls me beautiful, the only who always picks up the broken pieces and weaves something beautiful, my weaver, my guide, my physical protection, you have been my confidence giver, you have pushed me lovingly out of my comfort zone into places unknown, my mouthpiece, my language giver, my door opener and door closer, my knight in shining armor, truth giver and life sustainer, truth giver and lie fighter, the faithful one, patient, full of lovingkindness, team builder, support giver, financial provider, life changer, heart shaper, financial provider, life changer, heart shaper, mountain climber, cheerleader, forgiver, chain breaker, healer, healer, healer, the one who called me out to DANCE, the one who called me to believe big even when my faith seemed small.

God you have been the one who held me on the lonliest nights, held me when I felt alone and scared, whispered you are beautiful when the world did not. Taught me to praise in the storm! my stretcher, molder, potter– youa re the artist making me into a work of art! Oh God thank you for giving me confidence, for being a chain breaker. You are the one who brought me on this journey so I could see sin and learn what it means to recieve your grace, you brought me to the end of myself, to the end of my ability to be super JEnn where I had to find myself in you because everything else was taken away! You brought me to a place where I didn’t even know what to do with my days, you showed me that you are the REAL plan maker and the plan breaker… You have held me when I could not hold myself, you have helped me when I had no helper. You have helped me love when I had no more love in me, you have taken off masks and given me the freedom of transparency! You have given me the incredible freedom to just be!
You have helped me jump off my cliff of safety, you have been my miracle worker, you have been my generational curse breaker! You have been my mountain moving God with my mustard seed faith, The one who has protected me from throwing my pearls to pigs– the one who at 26 years old has treasured me so much you have kept me for you alone!

You have been my living water. You have persued me even in the midst of my wondering if I was unpersuable. You have loved me, you have called me your daughter, you have lavished your grace on me, you have allowed me to be your vessel even when I am a glory stealer instead of a glory giver–
I once was blind but now I see
Dead but now am alive
Now my life to you I give
My heart, my soul my mind, my ministry, the unspoken desires of my heart, my praise my glory my ideas, my lifesong.
my family, my bridal dreams, my next steps
my tommorows, my todays
God hallelujah
May my lifesong sing to you!


Thanks fro reading this. Sorry it is so long.. thought someone needed this. Each of these words were attached to a way that God reminded me he had been that to me. I cried the whole time I was writing it. Tears of praise.. for my LIFESONG.. now may it SING!